Airing things out.

I don't think it's fair when a friend is in a bad mood and you get the grunt of their mood. Even if it's a spouse, I mean yea, that's a little more understandable but still. You know what I mean?

I haz a friend who has been really short and distant for the last week or so. My feelings are kind of hurt and I know I shouldn't let it bother me like it does. I can't help it though.

Alas, life goes on and everything will go back to normal, but for now it's not cool. I'm sick, hacking up a lung and I am so frigging tired. That might be part of the reason for my reaction to things.

Hopefully I can actually sleep tonight. That would be fabulous!

breakfast

I made oatmeal and sliced up some fresh strawberries. OMG so good. Super heart healthy because strawberries have antioxidants. Yum!

After my session with Scott last night we weighed. I am down 12 pounds! Yes 12.

I am so super proud of myself as this was done in 3ish weeks. I feel good about myself for the first time in a very long time.

I am going to visit mr. elliptical for a half hour this morning. burn off some carbs and have a great day! yahoo!

That's a wrap!

Yes, I mean a wrap, as in food.

So my trainer, Scott, gave me a recipe for a breakfast wrap to try. OMFG it is so good.

I use a multigrain wrap I think they're called soft wraps or some shit. I'm far too lazy to go look.

What I do is brown about 3oz of ground turkey meat, then add in a 1/4 each of red and green bell pepper, chopped. I also use some red onion. Still those in with the ground turkey and saute until tender. Then I add 3 egg whites in and cook until done. I also add a few pinches of taco seasoning for flavor.
Before I add all the good I cut of a qtr of an avacado and mix it into the turkey and veggies.

Put into wrap and fold up. Delicious! It keeps you full for a long time because it's packed with protein!

I can get use to eating one of those everyday. For reals!!

Hey Y'all

I get weighed today for reals. So I will find out if my 11lbs loss is real or if I was just imagining things.

Good lord I hope it's real, that would friggin rock my socks off!

I will update later. Oh and I get to buy a new laptop today!

Low carb, High Protein

Holywow. I am having a hard time getting motivated, I need to eat a lot healthier. My trainer is helping with nutrition stuff too. As well as my nutritionist. My god it's a tough adjustment to make. One thing I can say is that I haven't drank a pop in over 2 weeks. That's HUGE for me.

I went to the gym 5x this week. Woot for me. I have been doing 30m straight on the elliptical and it's hard but i get through it. I think by 20 minutes i might die but I make it through the next 10 with no problems. I really really really really really like my trainer. He's the most kickass guy ever. I am so glad that I get to train with him.

So far I think I'm down 13lbs. Which is super exciting.
I'm suppose to consume 2400 calories a day because of how much I am working out.

I am struggling with everything except the exercising.

Woot

This week I have 3 sessions with Scott. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'm stoked. Really going to the gym is the highlight of my day. Today I stayed for a while after I got my cardio on and talked to him. We went over some food stuff and all that jazz.

Ugh I need to get my food shit together. I'm suppose to take it to him and let him see it. So we can adjust things accordingly.

I have been seeing a nutritionist and I really don't feel like it's doing me any justice. I think I'll learn more from Scott than her. He will hold me accountable and I think I will do much better.

We are going to a high protein low carb diet. It's optimum for weight loss. I'm so excited to be on this journey. I wish I would have did it sooner. REally I do.

Feeling good about things

So, with my dx the other day. I am actually at peace. I can say that I am ok with everything, I think mainly because I know I am doing everything I can to prevent any further damage to my liver. Yes, I wish it wasn't me, but can I change what has happened? No!

Life suddenly has a new outlook and I am happy with myself for what I am doing. I must say I wish I would have did this a lot sooner. Scott is so motivational, he's really a good guy and he works me hard, but I am at the infacy stage of starting to love me. I haven't loved me in a long long time.

Working out is such an emotional thing to for. It really helps me relax and get rid of stress in my life. Punching the shit out of a bag is fucking awesome. Or my fav. Bench pressing and free weights. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

One day, when I am a beast and strong as an Ox. I'm going to have scott bring his wife Dee in as a guest trainer and I really want to try olympic lifting. FUCKING AWESOME!

I am going to link some info on FLD if any of you are curious about more info on it.

All and all, I love me, and I love my family and friends.

Fatty Liver Disease

My session with Scott

Today, it rocked my socks off, seriously. I LOVE weight lifting, there's something so empowering about it. Makes me wanna RAWR. So we did some back stuff today. then used dumbbells. Scott likes dumbells. I for one, think they might be the death of me. I did bench pressing. LOVED IT! L.O.V.E.D it. Then there comes MetCon. My arch nemisis. I did, 90 step ups, 90 squats, 90 pushups and 60 should lifts. HOLYFUCK! I rock.

There's nothing like threatening a girl with a liver transplant to get her motivated eh?

Yesterday morning I was diagnosed with a more severe form of fatty liver disease. I just happen to have the kind that makes the liver inflamed and scars it also. I'm about halfway to a liver transplant as my GI told me. Wanna talk about a plethera of emotions?? I CANNOT blame myself, but it's hard not too. Hard not think that if I would have just lost that weight sooner I would be going through this shit. But I am, and the only place to go from here is up. So here I go, up up and away!

My legs hate life but that's ok. It's all worth the pain. No pain no gain right?!?!

Weight is to be lost!

Ladies and Gents I would love to report in that just one week I lost 4.5lbs. Woot. This makes me so happy. It's definitely boosted my ego a little.

Today, I am going to get my meal plans together and show Scott what I am eating, which hasn't been that great lately. I've fallen off the wagon a little bit. I am right back on it today though. The only thing that I haven't fallen off the wagon with is not drinking pop. I found some water enhancer, MiO, I lurve it. My favorite so far is the Berry Pomegranate and fruit punch flavors. I haven't had a pop in a few days which is huge. HUGE because I swear that I am addicted to pop.

My life is changing, and I am so so sosososososososo happy about it. I have a long road ahead of me but I know I can do it. I KNOW it.

A poem I wrote at 16...

Look into my eyes,
I'll let you see,
What really goes on inside of me,
What I'm really meant to be.

Look into my eyes,
You can say,
You'll find a way,
To help me someday.

Look into my eyes,
You can be,
The one to take care of me

Look into my eyes,
You can bring out all my fears,
The ones that cause my tears
You can be my cure

Look into my eyes,
You can be the strength I don't have
Make me happy when I am sad
That day I will be glad
That you tried
And looked into my eyes.


Uhm, I think I wrote this about my first love, Miguel. We dated for a little over a year, but obviously things didn't workout. He lived in AZ and I lived in NV. The long distance thing isn't something that a 16yo girl should have to do. It's hard anytime, but fragile little me just couldn't handle it anymore. I don't think I was mature enough. Well either I wasn't or he wasn't. I think it was him that ruined everything. Yea yea I know, put the blame on him.. blah blah blah. It worked out for the better because now I have my husband and my sons and we're a happy little family. Josh is the one who looked into my eyes and caught my heart for life. That's all I care about now. I'm not sure if I will post more. I probably will...

MetCon

So, I've had 2 real sessions with Scott, my crazy personal trainer, and it's going really well. He's really intense but he's also very very encouraging. He's a great guy but my body totally hates him the next day lol

So, he likes to do metabolic conditioning, which is crazy but I am sure it will be most effective. Last night, for MetCon, he had me doing 10 chin up with a bar, 10 steps ups, and 10 reps with a kettle bell. I did 180 reps in 10 minutes. I am sore today, but it's a good kind of sore. I think on monday we will weigh again. hopefully there will be a weight loss.

We shall see on monday!!!