Dread

I realize that I am having a really hard time breaking old eating habits. I'm suppose to be keeping a food journal for my nutritionist and I fail big time.

I am dreading the weigh in this week. I was reallysuperfreakingbad with my diet this weekend and I don't want to face the music if I gained weight. Seriously Lindsey, why can't you get your shit together?

We'll see I guess.

25lbs

That's where I am at right now. I was hoping it would be more by now but I'll take what I can get honestly. I can't be disappointed because I am losing the weight, just slowly.

I am seeing a new nutritionist in hopes that we can get on the same book and the same page. Yea, the last one was ok but she just wasn't doing it for me. This one actually helped me with a meal plan and seeing me weekly to hold me more accountable. The plus side. It only costs 20$. Thats actually only a one time fee too. Woot!

I'll keep y'all updated on my progress.

I'm a slacker

I got a nasty chest cold, I didn't go to the gym for 7 days. I felt so gross not working out and I was a major crabass.

Scott asked if I wanted to do my body fat and measurements yesterday and I said no. I wasn't quite ready for it. Which is the total truth. I was so afraid that I would have gained weight, because honestly I didn't eat all that great when I was sick.

on a super good note, we're MOVING. Wooo I am so flucking excited.

Alright that's all the energy I have for my blog today. I iz one tired girl.

A competition

My fav torture artist is talking about having a contest for his clients!!! I really want to do this. I am an extremely competitive person by nature and competition motivates me.

I am asking questions and trying to lean him towards following through with it. I told him if he does the competition than I will do it and I will win. I will do everything humanly possible to win it. I am not a sore loser but I would probably be a little disappointed if I didn't walk away the winner.

I've lost almost 20lbs so far. I have a goal of reach 200lbs then we'll set another one. I am hoping to be able to wear bikini bottoms and a tank next summer and not have to worry about a flabby tummy. Well, maybe next summer I'll be pregnant, but who knows. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Right now I have a nasty chest cold and I am not happy about it, whatsoever!!!!

So be it!

I now have something new to lose weight for

I have come to the realization that I am not done having kids. I really want another one. I have a fierce desire for it. I think this one might be worse than when I wanted to start TTC with Caleb.

Josh and I talked about it yesterday. He definitely said he wants another one and he wants to be done having kids by the time he's 30. He's 28 now.

I want to be at a healthy weight before we start TTC again. Lord knows how long it'll take or if I am going to have to go back on the Clomid bandwagon. I hope not but I'm not setting any special expectations for myself either. Wyatt was concieved without meds, I TTC with him for about 4-5 months. Yeah, Caleb took 14 months with 3 rounds of Clomid before he came into existence. So we'll see how things go. I am not sure when we'll start but I'm hoping within the next 6-8 months.

Well there's my confession for now. I really want another baby. Like bad.

Happy Memorial Day

I just want to say thank you to our past present and future miltary men and women! My Dad and Uncle were both in the Army and I have known other various people who give their lives to keep us safe! You are wonderful brave people! I appreciate everything you do for us, day in and day out.

You fight our wars, and protect America! You all deserve far more than you get..

Thanks again for everything you do!

<3 <3 <3 Much love

update of sorts

A couple of weeks ago my knee started hurting, I thought Meh, it's just sore and it'll be better in a couple days. Fast forward to a week and a half ago, waking up and barely being able to get out of bed. I finally drug myself to the dr, where she sent me off to have xrays done. Doclady thought my meniscus was torn. Uh oh! Well, after like 5 days of waiting for my xray results, the nurse finally called me and said that it's minor soft tissue swelling, no tears! Woot, but let me tell you, this swelling feels a whole hell of a lot more than just minor.

Don't get my wrong, I am super happy that it's not something more serious, the lord knows that. I'm just tired of icy hot, ice, aleve, and heating pads. For reals. And I'd like to be able to kick ass at the gym again.

I've gotten so into the gym and my workouts that it's really bothering me that I can't go in there and give 250% like I was. I know it will heal and that I will be to that point again but damn it I want that right now.

I am an emotional eater, I am struggling with my knee, and I am having a really hard time coping and not running to fridge for some carb loaded goodness. I have slipped a few too many times. I will admit that. IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD!!!

I plan on going to the gym tomorrow morning, and kicking ass on the elliptical. Since I know it isn't torn I am free to get on the machines again, just as long as it doesn't hurt my knee. Which the elliptical hasnt bothered me one bit! IAMSOFREAKINGEXCITED to see that machine again. ahhhhhh! It's my addiction, a guilty pleasure of sorts.

Wooooo! Ok, so there's my update. Talk to y'all again soon. Very soon!